Having been a mom for a little while now, I consider myself an expert on the subject of stink.
As mothers we take in so many sights and smells; some of them sweet, some of them rank. But one thing we all learn in Motherhood 101 is that there will be smells- lots of them. It's not a question of if, or when, but how many wildly different smells will we encounter in a day?
The following list of baby smells, standing alone, sums up my motherhood experience thus far. Some of the smells are perfect, some are hellish. All of them will be resting at the tip of my nose forever.
1. Freshly Brewed Coffee
To the mom raising children without a caffeine dependance, I salute you. But I never want to be you.
I survived law school without any reliance on coffee. Looking back, it was surprisingly easy. I can’t say the same for motherhood.
I’m not a prideful mom- I know I can’t do this alone. And because currently it’s socially unacceptable to have a glass of wine with breakfast, coffee it is. The smell of coffee instills hope in the hearts and minds of all the non-morning moms out there- myself included- that maybe this morning we just might crack a smile before 8 a.m. Just maybe...
2. Baby Sunscreen
When I open the lid on a bottle of baby sunscreen, I smell fun: fun at the pool, fun at the park, fun in the yard. Many of motherhood's most fun and rewarding moments with kiddos happen after applying copious amounts of sunscreen.
Not to say all moments that go hand in hand with sunscreen are happy ones. Many times the happy smell of sunscreen goes unnoticed due to the thunderstorm of tantrums that roll in as I am rubbing it in. At this stage in life, it seems my child is allergic to sitting still.
But every time she wakes up from an afternoon nap with the smell of sunscreen still faintly on her skin, I'm thankful for a good day.
3. Sour Milk
The sour stench of old breast milk smells a lot like tears of defeat. You wake up in the morning, look at your counter, and there your breastmilk sits beside the fridge. It's warm, it's sour, and it's twenty painful minutes of your life capped with a yellow lid. And now it's wasted.
This has happened to me multiple times, and I'm sure it's happened to many of you. Words can't adequately describe the frustration a mother feels when she wastes perfectly good breast milk. They say you shouldn't cry over spilt milk, but I am carving out an exception for moms.
In my best opinion, hell is a kitchen full of moms who have just discovered they wasted breastmilk.
4. A Freshly Bathed Baby
If heaven had a smell, it would be a freshly bathed, freshly lotioned baby. At least my version of heaven would smell like that. Cuddles are the natural byproduct of baby baths at our house.
When my babies are no longer babies, the smell of babywash may be the one I miss the most. I wonder if Johnson & Johnson has come out with soap for puppies? Probably a bad idea.
5. Blueberry Poops
My toddler likes waffles with blueberries in them. She also enjoys blueberry muffins, blueberry pieces, and blueberry smoothie pouches. Blueberries are her thing.
So for some time now, she has had poops I can only describe as very very... blue. The first time she pooped blueberries, I almost cried, worried something was terribly wrong. Now it's the norm. And I'll never be able to eat a blueberry flavored anything without thinking of the strange conglomerate smell of blueberries and baby poo.
6. Syrupy Kisses
If anything reminds me of slow-paced, dewy mornings spent with my toddler, it's the smell of syrupy kisses.
We don't always hit the ground running at 7 a.m. at our house, especially on the weekends. Waking up is a process, a process that takes time. It takes some magical combination of coffee, Elmo, mini-pancakes, and cuddles to get us going.
Sometimes when she kisses my cheek, her syrupy lips stick to my face for a split second before she pulls away. The best mornings begin and end with sticky, syrupy kisses.